She knows from the moment she sees the messenger’s face.
She knows what the news will be, knows the words that he’ll say, turning that death, that loss, into one of countless others.
In the deepest corners of her mind, she knew it would come, some day. The odds were simply piled too high.
And Seth had never been one to stand aside.
She knows the others are watching her. They’re expecting her to cry, or to faint, or some other suitably dramatic reaction.
In truth, she had thought she would cry. She hadn’t been able to cry for her father; at least she could cry for this loved one, but…
The man’s words sweep over her in a rush.
Line of duty…sacrifice…valiant effort…hero’s death…
It’s not that she doesn’t feel the pain. It’s there, a raw, pulsing ache across her heart.
It feels like she’s lost a limb.
She feels sick.
As soon as the messenger leaves, she politely excuses herself. While leaving, she can feel their eyes upon her still, pitying.
She doesn’t stop until she’s reached the garden.
The feeling of nausea is stronger than before. She crouches next to a tree with overhanging branches and wraps her arms around her knees. Dimly, she realizes that she must be in shock.
Some part of her hopes that she’ll never come out of it. To face the prospect of a life without him…
Shivering, she hugs herself tighter.
He’ll come back. He has to come back. He promised.
She closes her eyes and thinks of the last time she saw him, when he’d smiled, hugged her awkwardly, and said he’d miss her.
Later, Ephraim tries to talk to her.
I know how much you cared for him…
She manages to work up what she thinks passes for a smile, and tells him that she’ll be all right, she just needs some time alone.
In the dark, she sits in the grass, head on her knees, chilled by the night air.
She wishes she could cry. He deserves her tears, after all.
But she can’t.
There’s nothing there anymore.
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Author's Comments
*prepares to get shot by the beta*
I'll be the first to admit I'm a crier. Little things can send me off. Big things can set me off. I've cried so hard before that I couldn't cry anymore. I've cried myself sick. (Yes, I'm pitiful. STFU. XD) But sometimes, when something really awful has happened, I can't cry. I can feel that terrible welling sadness, but there are no tears to cry with. That's what this fic is for. (has yet to be beta-read, so please be patient with any errors.) |
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Comments
How could you kill Seth??? (Sniffles) But I can't really complain considering I've killed him off in my own stuff. Strangely enough though, I was just writing a SethEirika drabble involving the two at a funeral...
Anyway...
"And Seth had never been one to stand aside." my insides go all soft at this.
"They’re expecting her to cry, or to faint, or some other suitably dramatic reaction. " You can sense Eirika's exasperation.
"Line of duty…sacrifice…valiant effort…hero’s death…" meaningless words of consolation, all of them! ...or at least that's what I would be thinking. XD
"pulsing ache across her heart" I like the use of across. Kind of like cross my heart hope to die.
"It feels like she’s lost a limb. / She feels sick. /...she politely excuses herself." I like where you've placed "She feels sick." "She politely excuses herself," just fits right in with it.
"She closes her eyes and thinks of the last time she saw him, when he’d smiled, hugged her awkwardly, and said he’d miss her. " B-b-but Seth promised! Waaaaaaaah. The messenger didn't see Seth decapitated, so he must follow the golden rule of video games: characters who you think you killed (in particularly bosses) never die!!! <--is totally in denial of Seth's death. XD
"I know how much you cared for him…" I imagine Ephraim feels quite awkward saying that. I also feel there should be some allusion to whoever Ephraim's in love with; it's not necessary to the story, I just feel like it should.
"In the dark" So she's stayed there all day.
"There’s nothing there anymore." (is reduced to blubbering) Waaaahhh, Seth's death has totally decimated and destroyed her!!!!
I like this. Very much. It's very raw. I probably would've written this more eloquently if I'd written this before going and picking out individual lines... Oh well?
I think the perfect follow up for such angst would be the romance-writer!Seth. (dodges tomatoes for persisting with that plot bunny)
Um, so. When you post this on ff.n, I'll probably just copy and past this as my review. Because I don't think I can say much more. If you don't mind, that is.
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No gain without risk.
thank you for such a long review! <3 i'm glad you appreciate my story!
--
98% of people on the internet have made up statistics in their signature. If you're one of the 2% who doesn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
<<each day's a gift and not a given right>>
--
Me: Just jam it in there!
Caleb: O_o What?
Katie: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
Everyone else in the squad: WTF Rachael?
Me: What? What'd I say...?
Good times, good times.
that's the reaction i want to get!
--
98% of people on the internet have made up statistics in their signature. If you're one of the 2% who doesn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
<<each day's a gift and not a given right>>
--
Diamond in a rough!
Love Harvest Moon or Phoenix Wright or the PokeSpe manga? Join ~TheHarvestMoon or ~Turnabout-Club or ~pokespecialfanclub!
Blessed to be a blessing...
--
Me: Just jam it in there!
Caleb: O_o What?
Katie: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
Everyone else in the squad: WTF Rachael?
Me: What? What'd I say...?
Good times, good times.
i'm still alive O_________O
--
98% of people on the internet have made up statistics in their signature. If you're one of the 2% who doesn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
<<each day's a gift and not a given right>>
--
Diamond in a rough!
Love Harvest Moon or Phoenix Wright or the PokeSpe manga? Join ~TheHarvestMoon or ~Turnabout-Club or ~pokespecialfanclub!
Blessed to be a blessing...
But I kind of know the feeling. T-T
Nice to see a new Seth/Eirika fic. Wow, haven't been to ff.net in forever...
--
I always thought love was shaped like a heart,
But its actually shaped like a cross!
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